Sunday, September 26, 2010

Something that Makes Me Cry

What doesn't make me cry?  I'm so tenderhearted! 

Singing Holy, Holy, Holy at church makes me cry in a good way.

Remembering the day Brandon died and how I hurt for Susan, still makes me cry.

Seeing strays on the side of the road, knowing I can't help them.  I want to rescue every stray dog I see.  One day, I hope to have a shelter for rescued dogs where they can live happily ever after.

Being ignored makes me cry.

I hate not knowing if I really mean anything to someone I care deeply for.  That makes me cry.

Something that makes me feel better

Another list:

1. Walking into the house and the boys have cleaned up
2. Walking into the house with Jamie there to greet me like he hasn't seen me in a year - he nearly wiggles out of his skin
3. Talking to my friends and laughing at nothing
4. Going to the beach
5. Getting hugs from my boys

Something that Upsets Me

I have a couple of things that upset me:

1. Being ignored.  I think that is the worst feeling....
2.Working yourself to the bone and not being recognized for it
3.Dead animals on the side of the road

Another Moment

This moment in my life seemed like it lasted forever.  I know it was many hours but it was wayyy too long! 

Hurricane Andrew - August 1992.

I was newly married and we knew that the Hurricane was coming.  We didn't evacuate, because Brad had to work (Marine Corps), so I went down to Homestead to a friends house to ride out the storm.  I'd lived in Miami my whole life and the closest we came to a Hurricane was Hurricane David - where the streets flooded and we got to canoe down the street after the storm.  I wasn't worried.  I figured we'd lose power and trees.  Brad and the rest of his gang were told to go home around 7pm that evening, so he came over to Kelly and Kelley's house with our cat.  (Kelly and Kelley are our married friends - boy Kelly and girl Kelley).  So, it was me and Brad, the Kelly's and their two kids - like 7 and 10 years old, their dog Gator and girl Kelley's sister, who lived on Miami Beach and her one whole wall was floor to ceiling windows.  She felt safer in a house. 

So, we had a couple of Margaritas and played Scattegories until the lights started flickering.  We went outside and it was just weird how the clouds were swirling and the rain came down in gusts.  We went back inside as the power went out.  We got out the flashlights and turned on the battery radio to get Brian Norcross to tell us what was happening.  The wind picked up and so did the rain.  I honestly don't know what time it was by this point but maybe midnight?  We heard things hitting the house and shingles being ripped off, so we made our way into the hallway.  Girl Kelley, the kids, her sister and I went into the closet in the hallway and Brad and Kelly stayed in the hallway with mattresses over them. 

This is hard to write about even now.  It was so scary.  The storm got really loud and we heard part of the roof tear off and blow away.  We were now sopping wet and sitting in about 2 inches of water.  Brad was holding my hand and I was praying that we wouldn't die.  We heard what sounded like trains but later found out that there were many tornadoes that ripped through Homestead.  We were in the worst hit place - not even a mile from the Homestead AFB. 

When the eye of the storm hit, we ran into the Kelly's big walk in closet  in their bedroom and waited for the back end of the storm.  None of us spoke.  We knew the worst was yet to come.  As the tail end hit, part of their roof in their bedroom was torn off.  Kelly yelled at us to go back in the hallway.  We ran as fast as we could.  Kelly was the last one out and he slammed the door shut and held on.  He didn't want that door to open and the debris from their room or anything that was coming through the roof to fly into the hallway.  He held onto that door for at least two hours.  It had to have been pure adrenilan (sp).  The worst part of that was Gator was stuck on the other side and he was barking and whining the whole time but Kelly didn't dare open the door.  Kelly just kept talking to him and Gator kept barking - as long as he was barking, we knew he was okay. 

At this point - all I could hear were the tornadoes-  ripping through.  I prayed then asking God to make our deaths quick and painless.  I really thought we were going to die. 

And then the sun started coming up.  The rain and the wind started dwindling.  Then we heard a knock at the front door.  We got up and the walls around the front door were gone, but the door was standing.  It was the next door neighbor checking on us.  We laughed that he didnt just walk around the door to get inside, but he said it might be rude... lol.  We walked out into this dawn morning to see a glorious sunrise but also to see that every house would be completely totalled.  The Kelly's roof was all but gone.  What was standing were the walls to the hallway and their front door.  Oh and her china cabinet didn't have a scratch on it.  Gator was okay and survived in the room with no roof for over two hours.  We were so exhausted, we all pulled up chairs in the driveway and fell asleep for a few hours.  We woke up and it was over 90 degrees - go figure and of course 90 percent humidity.  It was horrible.  We drove around in shock at the city I grew up in.  It was destroyed.  But we survived,  thank the Lord.  It was probably the scariest times of my life......

Saturday, September 25, 2010

This Month

This month.... Jake turned 15 years old....my sweet Pip.

This month.... our new fiscal year at work just began and I am swamped.

This month.... I am saying goodbye to a friend who is moving and I am very, very sad about it.

Something I Regret

There is one thing I regret in my life.  I honestly don't regret much in my life - other than I should I should have spent more in NYC at someone else's expense than I did ... haha.

But, what I really regret is what I did to Julie H.  Julie was one of my best friends in high school.  She was dating A.  She then moved back home to Michigan and I started dating A.  I didn't tell her.  He didn't tell her.  I finally ended up telling her and lost her friendship for a very long time.  We are friends now but of course it's not the same.  I am glad I had that I had that relationship because it taught me a lot of lessons.  But, I wish I hadn't done it at my friends expense. 

My Favorite Birthday

This one is easy!  I turned 32 and my boys and our neighbor Hynsookie took charge.  It had to have been a Saturday or Sunday.  I had baked myself a cake that morning and later that afternoon, I decided that taking a nap was what I deserved most (surprise)!  So, I went upstairs and tried to sleep, I could hear the boys planning but couldn't hear what they were saying.  There was a lot of whispering as they tromped up and down the stairs.  Finally, they couldn't take it anymore and knocked on my door.  They told me to close my eyes before I opened the door.  When I did, the whole staircase was decorated with curly cue colored pipe cleaners.  There was even a dollar taped to the wall!  I came downstairs, amazed at the creativity they used with our crafts.  They had even cut the cake and I had a whole plateful of cake with every candle they could find on it! 

That is definitely my best birthday and one of my favorite memories.

I do have to add that my second favorite birthday was when I spent my birthday in Gatlinburg with the kids - I think I was 35.  We had a great time and my girl Kathi came and brought me cute gifts and a cake.  I am so blessed!

My Favorite Memory

Okay - this isn't hard but of course, I have two favorite memories.  The birth of my babies :)

Cole - Brad and I decided to go to Lamaze classes.  We saw the videos of babies being born without drugs.  I was like, "No problem - if they can do it, I can do it".  That is until the labor pains decided to be more than I thought they could be.  Too bad for me, I was too far along for an epidural.  I was so tense, I wouldn't dialate but they couldn't get me the epidural.  To make things worse, I had a male doctor and 2 male nurses and my husband standing there like my head was spinning around.  I pointed at each of them and said, " F' you, F you, F you, and F you!  I want drugs and I want them now!" (not my proudest moment) They were able to give me something in my IV to help me relax and then it was time to push.  That sweet little angel was perfect.  He had strawberry blonde hair and a really, really large conehead from being stuck so long.  Bless his heart.  The minute I saw him, I was in awe.  What a miracle.  Thank you, Lord for him.

Jake - my sweet little Pippy was two weeks late and I was as big as a house.  The minute my 14th day came, I called the hospital and told them I was on my way and they better have a bed....I called at 5am.  I also told them to find the anesthesiologist because I was having an epidural as soon as possible!  We got to the hospital and they thought they'd have to induce but it was God's perfect timing because I had started to contract.  I got my room, and had to wait until I was dialated enough and the Dr. came in with his big shot and I was ready!  I had a big nurse with huge boobs.  she was patting my hand as I hunched over and Brad was holding me.  He was looking over my shoulder and so interested in the big needle that he forgot his job to hold me still.  thank God for my big nurse with big boobs.  She scooted Brad out of the way and held me and comforted me.  She was just what I needed.  Then we sat there for a few more hours, watched Melrose Place (in Hawaii, it came on at 2pm).  Then I had my Pip.  He looked like Ernest Borgnine - scrunched up little face.  He was just as precious as my Cole.  Thank you, Lord for this gift! 

Those are my favorite moments - being able to see my sweet boys and bring them into this world.

My First Kiss

Aren't first kisses the best?  I LOVE that feeling - butterflies in my stomach!  Oh and what you can tell by a first kiss! 

I'm not going to count my first kiss with my neighborhood best friend, John, because I think we might have been 3 years old :)

My first kiss was when I think I was in 8th grade with Scott B.  It was at Shannon's church.  It was after youth group and I was waiting for my dad to pick me up and we went and stood by the stairs in the dark.  I knew it was coming and I started shaking.  he asked me if I was cold and I said yes and he gave me his jacket.  We lived in FL - it wasn't cold.  I was just so nervous.  From what I can remember, it was a good kiss but not good enough because he dumped me weeks later for some horrible girl named Amy... lol.

Almost two years ago, I had the best first kiss of my life.  I will never forget it.

My Dreams

I'm so not good at updating, but I'm going to finish this challenge!  I want to thank Kathi and Shannon for laughing at "My Moment" :)  It was one of the funniest days of my life.

Okay - so my dreams.  I'm not sure if I am supposed to talk about what I dream at night or what my dreams in life are, so I'll do a little bit of both.

The dreams I dream at night are always in vivid color.  I also, like everyone else, probably have the weirdest dreams and they make sense while I'm dreaming them but when I wake up and try to tell people about them, they make zero sense.  I do dream a lot about sex and snakes and lately peacocks.  Oh what a dream analyst would make of that. 

As for my dreams for my life, I hope that my boys and I always remain as close as we are. 

I dream of moving back to Florida and to moving back to Hawaii.  I think I could have a home in both places!!!  Why not?

I still dream of being famous - broadway, movies, tv (Glee) or author.  I know some of my friends and family think this is a joke but alas, it's not.  How else will I have a home in Florida AND Hawaii!

I dream of meeting "the one" that God has in store for me.  I so want to be married again (most of the time) to a man who treats me like I deserve to be treated, who loves me - faults and all, who makes me laugh and someone who I can love right back, faults and all and who I can treat like he deserves to be treated.

There you go!  My Dreams

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What I Wore Today

this is a boring entry.  I'm wearing a burgandy dress with a black cardigan and black beaded necklace that I wore yesterday.  blah

Monday, September 13, 2010

This Week

Okay, I'm actually caught up and I can't do the next one because it's "What I Wore Today" and I'd just be repeating myself.  I'll get back to you tomorrow on that.

This week.... let's see... today is so gorgeous outside that I wish I had a lounge chair, a laptop with wireless and a cordless phone.  I'd do all of my work sitting outside. 

This week, I need to catch up on my pending kids from last quarter.  I need to work on budgets for kids who are pending and then catch up on kids traveling in October.

Cole is ordering his class ring this week.  What a milestone.  I can't wait for the payments!  haha!  who knew class rings were like  $400.00? 

Jake and Cole both have Pride meetings today and Wednesday.  Pride is a club that promotes drug and alcohol free teens.  They love it.  I love it.

Jake has tutoring on Tuesday.  Or is it Thursday? 

Jake's 15th birthday is Saturday.  Where in the WORLD did that time go?  My sweet little Pippy isn't so little anymore.

That's my week.  I'll let you know if anything changes.

TD~

What's in my bag

I have a huge Mary Poppins bag - i could keep a lamp, an umbrella, perhaps even a tree in there.  But what is in it, is my phone, 5 lipsticks, my wallet, a bunch of crumpled receipts I need to go through, aspirin, heartburn medicine and notes of things for me to do while at work.  Although I haven't looked at them, so I guess I'm forgetting something.

That's all there is.  Oh yes, my ever present Extra green gum is in there.

My Siblings

I'm on a roll.... I may even catch up to where I should be!

Okay, this is going to be short and sweet.  I know that I should add pictures to my posts to make them more colorful, but if I'm to catch up and not be called Southern names by Kathi, then I must continue on without pictures.

So, I've got an older brother.  I don't talk to him.  Not much to say about that.  I know you all would love to know the juicy details but you won't ever find out, so let's just move on.

I have two step-sisters.  Their momma married my dad.  I love them.  I rarely get to see Linda - maybe once a  year, at Christmas, if they come in town.  I will tell you though that I love being around her when I get the chance.  She is a) gorgeous - she reminds me of Faith Hill and b) she is so stinkin' nice.  She and her family live in TX and I don't get to travel as much as I'd like, so we only see them when they travel here.  I adore her sons, Matt, Luke and Will.  They are such wonderful young men.  I can't believe that they are growing up so fast and are teenagers (almost all of them).  They are fabulous!

My other step-sis Kathy, well, I could go on and on about her.  Some of my readers know her - :)  Kathy is probably one of the nicest, most generous people I've ever met.  She looks nothing like Linda, to me, but is so, so beautiful.  Funny how that is, huh?  They have good genes.  Kathy has four kids and one grandchild, Kate (who is the princess of the family).  Kathy and her husband Jeff are what I want my marriage to look like - if it ever happens.  I'm sure they have their moments, but they stick together and have fun together.  I very much look up to Kathy and I'm happy to call her sister.

What I Wore Today

What I wore today (since I can't remember which day I was supposed to post this, I'm posting what I am wearing today).

I'm wearing a black skirt that is so comfortable, I would wear it every day.  It is cotton and it kind of flares around the knee, a white t-shirt (fitted) and a pink cardigan and black bead necklace.  I look really cute, if I do say so myself!

My Beliefs

I grew up in the Episcopal Church as a baby and child.  As I got older, I went with Susan to her church - a Presbytarian church.  It was so much bigger than our humble little St. Faith's and I loved it there.  There youth group was awesome and we had the best time.  It was just what I needed since St. Faith's had about 10 youth... haha.

Here in Memphis, I started out at what we Memphians lovingly call Six Flags over Jesus - or rather Bellevue.  It is more than humongous - I mean, it's like a football stadium - I got lost every Sunday trying to find the kids at Sunday School.  It was just way too big.  Then we went to Hope.  I really liked it there but it too, became like herding cattle.  So we went to a couple of different churches and finally found our niche at Central North.  The boys and I both felt at home, we were so involved.  Then, stuff happened internally and a lot of us left.  We've been searching for a new church home again.  Right now we are back at Hope, but I've been reading these books and the main character is an Episcopal priest, and I realize I'm missing the way the services are run.  I miss kneeling to pray and taking communion every Sunday. 

Okay - that is where I went to church but what do I believe... well, I could recite the Nicene Creed for you but I won't.  I will tell it to you simply.

I believe that the Bible is the written word of God. 
I believe that Jesus is my personal Saviour and that he was born of the virgin Mary, was crucified and was resurrected after 3 days and ascended into heaven.
I believe that in order to get into heaven, you have to ask Jesus into your heart and to have Him forgive your sins.
I believe in the Holy Trinity.

I am by no means perfect and ask for forgiveness daily.  These are my core beliefs.  I try to live by the 10 commandments and all that Jesus taught.  I fail miserably, but I know that I am forgiven.  Christ died to wash away my sins.  How awesome is that?

A Moment

Okay, I'm on a roll.

So, a moment in my life.  I'm going to tell this story and none of you will laugh like I did, except for Lisa.

While I was in Hawaii, Lisa and I decided to try out for Grease.  It is my favorite movie and hers, too.  The community theatre was putting it on, so we got the husbands to watch the kids and we practiced our songs and limbered up and went.

We get there to see a bunch of teens auditioning.  Okay, we were young - early twenties, so we weren't that much older than them but we could see that we were maybe not what they were looking for - oh yeah and every single person besides us was Hawaiian.  So, we sing our songs.  I sang "There are worse things I could do" - the one Rizzo sang - love it!!!  I can't remember what Lise sang.

Then they broke us into groups of like, six and the choreographer taught us a dance.  It was fast with lots of spinning, etc.  Lisa and I just looked at each other like deer caught in the headlights.  Holy crap!  There is no way I was going to learn this in five minutes.  We whispered and decided maybe we should sneak out and call it a night but then we decided to JUST DO IT!

Right, so, a couple of groups went and I'm trying to remember every little step as I watch.  Then it's Lisa's turn.  OMG - I can't even begin to tell you what in the world she did.  She started out okay, but then lost her way, so she broke it down like any white girl would do.  I was laughing so hard from behind the curtain that I had tears streaming down my face.  I don't know that I've truly laughed as hard as that before or since then.  Except for talking with her about it afterwards - because, she was laughing just as hard at me from the audience when it was my turn.

So, my group was called.  I knew I couldn't do it, I tried but quickly failed so I took off leaping across the stage - and then leaped back across the stage.  I figured that I didn't want to blend in with all the others, so I might as well stand out.  Most of the audience had their mouths dropped open.  Lisa was crying with laughter and the directors had really confused looks on their faces.  I took my bow and we left.

Several days later, we both got the call.  We had not been cast.  I'm still not sure why.

My Best Friend(s)

Wow, I really stink at this challenge thing.  Way to go with the discipline, Tracy!
I'm way behind and it is going to take me some time to catch up. 

I'm writing today about my best friend(s).  There are several women in my life who are my besties.  I wouldn't be who I am today without their friendship, understanding, prayers and love.

I'm going to start with who I've known the longest and go from there.

My sister Susan.  I've known this girl since the first grade.  We quickly became friends and have stayed the closest of friends since then.  We have so many memories together and such good times.  This woman has been with me every single step of my life and still loves me.  I don't really know why.  When I lost my way for years, she still prayed for me and still loved me and never, ever gave up on me.  I know I caused her pain and I am so sorry for that.  Susan is not my actual sister but my PaPa called her that because we were inseparable growing up.  If I could have asked for a sister, it would have been Susan.  We are also the Dolphin Twins.  We also will have houses next door to each other one day so we can grow old together - rocking in our rocking chairs on the porch (in Florida, of course).  Susan, I can't thank you enough for bringing me to church with you, for showing me that I am a child of God and that He loves me.  Thank you for showing me what it is like to be a woman after God's own heart and for living a life like Christ - He is shown through you for sure.  You are so dear to me, my sister Susan, I love you with everything in me!

Then we have Robin - I've known her since, gosh, I don't know when we met - but we were fast friends as well.  I remember me, Susan, Robin and Wendy going back and forth and changing best friends as only silly school girls will.  Oh the memories of TVR and Focus and all the boys we had crushes on in Youth Group.  Robin and I have kept in touch over the years but it wasn't until about two years ago (ugggh - help me out here, Rob) that we reconnected and have been close ever since.  We have really been able to help each other through some rough spots and have laughed so hard we've cried and cried so hard we couldn't talk.  She also sends me random "happies" in the mail - like clothes for the boys from her hubbies closet and a book and Panera or Dunkin :)  What's not to love about that?  PLUS, we are on a body changing mission.  Robin, I don't know what I would have done without you - especially this past year.  You know what I mean.  I love you.

Then there is the other Susan.  Susan taught my boys in pre-school when we first moved to Memphis.  I thought my sweet little Jake looked so cute in his corduroy overalls at age 3.  She said he couldn't wear them anymore because he couldn't get them off quick enough to go to the bathroom.  Slave driver.  Her boys and my boys became friends and are still best friends to this day.  Susan and I are like oil and water.  Haha!  We often joke that we don't know how we became friends because our beliefs in pretty much every single facet of life are completely opposite.  I'm right wing and she is left wing, etc etc.  I could really go on and on.  The thing is, we love each other in spite of her being wrong about pretty much everything.  I'm so generous like that.  We can spend all day working together and then hours on the phone at night talking about religion, sex or lack there of, and the meaning of life.  One of my favorite Susan memories is having stayed up late playing cards and walking down the beach (after alcohol had been consumed) and pondering how small we really are while looking at the vast expanse of the sky, stars and ocean.  This was at 3am and probably not the smartest time to be walking down the beach but it was still fun.  She has heard it all from me - whether she wants to or not.  She gives good advice and really I don't know what I would have done without her here in Memphis.  It can be a lonely town.  Love you Susan!

And last but certainly not least is my girl Kathi Jo Dorthea.  I do not remember how many years it's been but it's been quite awhile since we met.... through AOL.  But I first met Kathi on a Labor Day weekend when she and her mom drove out for her to audition for AI.  As they were driving, the auditions were cancelled - I can't remember why though.  Bless her heart - she took a 13 hour roadtrip for nothing.... except, we became even closer.  We had a blast in Gatlinburg several years ago... where she almost made me lose my tongue by trying Habinero pepper salsa.  We also found the vibrating footprint or something in the Aquarium.... I loved that!  And how can I forget the Haunted House.... I don't know how I got stuck in the front of the line, but she and the boys managed to push me there.  We had someone try to come between us a couple of years back but what that person didn't understand was that OUR friendship is the real deal.  I didn't need their crap and neither did she.  I can talk to Kathi about anything.  I have a book somewhere of "Kathi-isms" that one day, I should publish - she's so Southern that I just love how she talks.  Kathi - I love you for so many reasons. 

Thank you girls for being so good to me, for listening to me complain, for standing by my side, for praying for me, for advice even when I don't want it, for making me laugh and making my life complete.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

My Day

My day..... well..... it's been interesting.  First off, I'd like to say that I've lost 17 lbs. in the last month or two.  thank you very much.  I went to the gym this morning - not to work out, just to get my weight.  I looked at the scale, cocked my head and started over.  I wasn't seeing things, didn't need glasses... I'd dropped the weight.  I guess the exercising almost daily is working. 

My friend Michele told me about this fast/cleansing and I decided to do it.  It sucks.  I'm hungry... lol.  But I'm halfway through day one - only 4 1/2 more to go.

I have SO much work to do and I'm procrastinating.  I don't know why.  I know that if I just dig in, the day will go by faster and I'll be home before I know it. 

Have I mentioned I'm hungry? 

I need some good books to read as well.  My friend Michele mentioned the Host by Stephanie Meyer - or whatever her names is - of Twilight fame.  I definitely want to read that.

I need more suggestions, though. 

That's all I've got for today.... if something else happens, I will come back and edit.

Almost Friday!!!!

My Definition of Love

I know, I'm off a day.... so busy at work and when I get home the last thing I want to do is get on the computer.  So I guess I'm failing this challenge... haha!

So I have to give you my definition of love.  I truly believe what the Bible says about love.  I know it is the most overused Bible verse for weddings, but I think that if you love someone the way you "should" love would be this way.  Of course, everyone has their moments when they get angry and hold a grudge.  Sometimes its hard to trust.  But I think this is how we should love our mate.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
 
I've also always loved this poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and I do NOT like poetry... :
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.


I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, -I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.
 
I've always wanted to love someone so passionately for all my days.  I mean I don't want to smother someone with love but I want that mad, deep love - but also someone to stand by me always.  Someone I trust completely, someone who makes me laugh, someone who just likes to be with me. 
 
So, there you have it.  A tiny glimpse.  I'm so not good at this.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What I Ate Today

This is easy.  I know what I'm eating today.

Breakfast - Asiago Bagel from Panera

Lunch - Tuna salad salad

Dinner - nothing

see how I caught up Kathi :)

My First Love

Okay, so Kathi is the one who challenged me to this 30 day blogging thing.  She told me that I've already messed up.  I've messed up the order AND I didn't blog yesterday, so after being properly chastised, I will be blogging twice today to catch up and then keep this thing up!!!  Thank you, Kathi :)

My angels eating frosting!

Okay, my first love (s).  I know you all will be disappointed to find out that I'm blogging about my kids.  You want to know what men I've loved.  Well, I can tell you that my first boyfriend and even my ex-husband..... I can't say that I really truly loved them.  I thought I was in love, but I wasn't.  I think since then I've been in love and recently, too.  But, there is nothing that can compare to the love I feel for my kids.  I had no idea how this would feel.  They are my life and my life revolves around them.

When Cole was born, I just had no idea what in the world I was doing.  I was scared..... but I was fiercely in love with this little red-headed child.  He and I were attached at the hip - or boob.  He didn't take a bottle, so, it was just me and him in the wee hours of the night. 

Then, my sweet Pip was born - they are 19 months apart.  We lived in Hawaii and the ex was gone almost the whole pregnancy.  It was tough, chasing a toddler around and big as a house.  It was even tougher having a toddler and a new born.... both attached at the hip and Jake at the boob... 

these two kids took ahold of my heart and showed me what complete unconditional love is.  I don't care how rotten they can get, they aren't rotten enough for me not to love.  They are really such good guys.  They are polite, giving, caring, friendly, smart, funny as all get out, silly, dorky, Christian young men.  I adore them and as much as I say I'm counting the years until they are out on their own.... I don't know what I'm going to do when they are gone.  My friend Tricia said I'd need a dress made out of tissue when they graduate high school.... and dear Lord, when they get married, will I be the MIL from hell???

So, there you have it.  My first loves.  Now I just need a man to shower my love on!

Monday, August 30, 2010

My First Love

Apparently I was supposed to do this one before my parents - oops.  I'm really having a hard time with this one.  Do I put my first boyfriend?  I don't really think so because it wasn't really what love is.  ehhhh... you're going to have to let me think about this for another night and then post!

Be back tomorrow.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

My Parents

So, day three is supposed to be about my parents.  This will probably be short.

My dad is Ned.  He grew up in Norfolk, VA - boy how I loved the house he grew up in... especially the secret staircase and Green Green Island.  He lives in the 'Sip now.  I moved here after my divorce because I felt like I needed to be by a parent and my mom was in Wisconsin and I do. not. like. cold weather 15 months out of the year.

My mom is Kathy and she grew up in Buffalo, NY.  She now lives close to Green Bay (go Pack).  She was a stewardess and dad was a pilot - that's how they met.  They had my brother and I.  We grew up in Miami, FL, the greatest city in North America.  We had a great childhood, for the most part.  We ran around barefoot and played flashlight tag with Christi and John, we had the greatest dog in the world, Holly.

They got divorced when I was 15, I think.  That was a really hard time for me.  I was embarrassed but I was happy but I was sad and the same time.  My dad got a job with Fed Ex and moved to Memphis.  I really missed him. 

Anyway, they both got remarried and life goes on.  They have both been very supportive of me.  I love them with all of my heart.  They have had my back and they both love me so much.  I mean, look at me, who can't love me?  Okay, well I can name two people off the top of my head who don't but, I don't love them either, so it's okay. 

that's all I'm saying on this subject.  I hope you are having a great Sunday.  My stomach is upset and I'm not feeling great today, but it's raining and we're just going to watch movies all day.

Tracy~

Introducing ME - part 2

I'm back - a third day in a row.  Maybe, I'll continue this.  We'll see.

I realized yesterday after I published my introduction that I really didn't touch on ME.... who I am - those things are things I like, but who am I.

I'm just a girl who can't say no!  - haha , I couldn't resist putting in lyrics from a musical - you can find the lyrics here - Oklahoma it actually describes me, no???

Anyway, I'm just a girl who works hard, whose life revolves around her kids and wouldn't be standing without her friends support and love all these years.

I'm sarcastic and sometimes can come up with some pretty witty one-liners.  I think I'm pretty funny.  I'm also super modest and humble... cough.  I will randomly break into song and dance - no matter where I am.  My girl Whitney and I decided that one day we'd move to Williamsburg so we could dress up like old timey women and make candles but what would be different is that we'd sing and dance while doing it. 

I mean, if you can't sing and dance - where is the fun in life???

I'm extremely tender hearted.  I'm not embarrassed to cry while reading a blog, or watching a video or cheering for my favorite football team.  I cry at church on Christmas Eve when we sing Silent Night.  How can you not?  What a special time, if you think about the words.  And who can't cry on Easter when you sing Christ the Lord is risen today?  I'm just not afraid to show it.  And my favorite hymn of all time is Holy Holy Holy.... gets me every time.

Shoot, I could be listening to the radio and some sappy story will come on and I'll cry.  Sometimes I cry at work but that's usually when I'm watching a kid get their wish granted and they are happy tears. 

But more than crying, I love to laugh.  I've been told I have an infectious laugh - which I think means loud and obnoxious.  But that's okay.  I like being loud (and sometimes obnoxious).

I'm also an incredibly private person - so, we'll see how I open up on this blog.  I don't mind being by myself.  But, I do get lonely and that stinks.  I want so much to love someone.... to have that someone special to give to.  I'm just waiting..... and waiting.... hahaha!  There are only a select few whom I trust to tell everything to.  Boy, they sure are lucky. 

I love men.  That's for the girls who know me best.  They'll get it. 

That's all for now. 

Tracy~

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Introducing..... ME!

Right, so I'm doing good.  I'm actually blogging a second day in a row. 

So, you want to know all about me - yes, you do - or you wouldn't be reading.  I'm going to make lists since I things to do and people to see.

First and most importantly is that I'm a Christian. 

The reason I chose the name for this blog (and trust me, it wasn't a painless process - ask my friends) is because I've always wanted to be famous.  I can see myself accepting an Academy Award for best something.  I can see myself on Broadway singing and dancing my way across the stage and at one time, I could see myself as a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader but I might not be right for their uniforms or lack there of.  I also still want to be a lawyer and then a judge.  Wouldn't that be fun?

I'm divorced.... blah, blah blah.....

I have two precious little angels - okay they aren't so little - C is 16 (and a 1/2) and J will be 15 in September... crap, that is next month.  Two kids driving.  Stay out of Cordova and Germantown - for real.

I love football.  I adore it.  I grew up in Miami and the Dolphins and Hurricanes were what we (I) lived for!  I was a cheerleader in elementary school, middle school and High School for football and loved every second of it.  Life lead me to go to Ole Miss (can I get a Hotty Toddy) and I promise you, there is NOTHING like SEC football.  It is passionate and crazy and just so much fun to watch and be a part of.  My favorite teams:
Miami Dolphins of course
Ole Miss REBELS
Florida Gators
and now the Broncos (yummy Tim Tebow)
I used to be a Brett Favre fan until he started all of his foolishness.  While he is still eye candy, I have lost respect.  I know he cares.

I'm a voracious reader.  If you put it in front of me, I will probably read it.  My favorite books include (and I know I'm forgetting something):
A Prayer for Owen Meany - if you haven't read this, you should
To Kill A Mockingbird - who doesnt' love this book?
Litlle Women and Little Men - what girl doesn't want to be Jo?
The Thorn Birds - scandalous
A Wrinkle in Time - old school
Water for Elephants - I just read this this year and LOVED it!
the Outlander Series - named my dog after the main character - all 18 names

A Reality TV junky - sadly - I watch
Big Brother - this season is pitifully boring - this is going on my "to-do" list - I'm GOING to be on this show!
Real World/Road Rules challenge - they always have a different name for it - like the Gauntlet, but I love it!
Survivor - at one time I thought I could do it but I don't like to get my hands dirty, so I'm not sure that I wouldn't just swim home
Teen moms - okay who doesn't love Caitlynn and Tyler?
Jersey shore - you know you secretly love to watch this trainwreck - who doesn't love Snooki and Vinni - I can do without the Situation

My favorite smells:
freshly cut grass
playdoh
puppy breath
sharpies
new crayola crayones
Mr. Sketch Markers
meat cooking on the grill
baking cake
the ocean

Favorite things to eat:
anything Italian
seafood - well, shellfish only
bagels - not the sweet kind - with cream cheese

Movies and Musicals
Grease - I have some stories regarding this one - one of my favorite days of my life was when Lisa and I tried out for Grease in Hawaii.  Still brings a tear to the eye
Mary Poppins - I cried when she left
Wicked - I cry every time I listen to Defying Gravity - really
Life is Beautiful - RENT THIS - amazing movie
Passion of the Christ
Dumb and Dumber - I paid to see this twice - and have seen it countless times - it just doesn't get old
Drop Dead Fred - fantastic movie
Shawshank Redemption - isn't this on everyone's list?
the original Halloween
Breakfast Club - I know every single word to this and Grease... every word.
St. Elmo's Fire
Life - wish Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence - fab!

Music - what's on the ol' ipod:
Jimmy Buffet
Blink 182
Justin Timberlake
Katy Perry
Beyonce
the Outfield
Steve Miller Band
Grateful Dead
DMB
Prince
Matthew West
Chris Tomlin
Toby Mac
Addison Road
and a whole lot more

Okay - I think that's all you need to know at this time.  Aren't you glad you know so much?  I

Friday, August 27, 2010

Here I Am....

Here I Am.....

I've had a couple of blogs over the years.  I started with AOL journals and then made my way over to blogspot.  I really didn't do a great job of journaling but I'm going to give it another go.  I'm not going to introduce myself yet because I'm going to be doing a 30 day blog challenge that Kathi has been doing and the first day is introducing yourself. 

This is the outline of the 30 days:

Day 01 – Introduce

Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of loveDay
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment


So you'll just have to sit tight until I get to it.  Hopefully tomorrow and not a year from now.

Tracy~